Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 7 January 2013

image for Rihanna and Chris Brown Say They're Happier Than Most Couples
Chris Brown recently told Conan O'Brien that he is going to cut back on his drinking. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

CHICAGO - Rihanna and her former boyfriend Chris Brown were recently spotted at the Windy City's infamous Crocked Crocodile Club having a fine old time giggling, laughing, and touching each others privates.

Several patrons reported that the pair only had eyes for each other and when Chris wanted to order drinks he would use his cell phone to call the bar and have them sent over.

One club employee reported overhearing Brown say that he is still furious at The View's Whoopi Goldberg for saying that she cannot understand how Rihanna could even mention Brown's name much less be seen with him.

Rihanna recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and was asked by Ellen how she could forgive a person who would physically abuse her the way Brown had done.

The Barbados beauty replied that her and Chris are happier than most couples including her and Portia.

Rihanna then remarked that it is really nobody's business who she dates and if she wants to date that whining crybaby Speaker of the House John "Teardrops" Boehner she'll damn friggin do it.

Several Hollywood publications and news agencies have recently stated that the Caribbean singer has lost every ounce of self-respect, self-worth, and self-dignity that she may have had.

The latest issue of supermarket tabloid Just Saying printed a story saying that Rihanna getting back with Chris "The Priss" Brown shows that Ri-Ri has all the common sense of a fly swatter.

Just Saying added that Brown will most probably end up abusing her again since he has the personality and charm of a used tampon.

In A Related Story. Arizona Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has said that if he ever hears that Chris Brown is in his state he will have him arrested and charged with trespassing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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