Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 2 January 2013

image for Rob Pattinson and Heidi Montag To Star In The Vampires of The Fiscal Cliff
Lollipop Wildstick (L) and Lexie Amaretto (R), star as two vampires in the Pattinson-Montag movie. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

HOLLYWOOD - Word coming out of Tinsel Town is that Pipe Dream Films in association with Omnigate Pictures has just released the media info on their latest movie production.

Noted producer Bellanini Terrabini stated that the movie titled The Vampires of The Fiscal Cliff will star Rob Pattinson and Heidi Montag.

He said the film will deal with the notorious story of a group of vagabond vampires who roamed the New England countryside back in the late 1890s.

The vampire epic is set in the town of Fiscal Cliff, Massachusetts, which was founded by Fiscal Maximilian Cliff, a blacksmith who immigrated to America from Transylvania in May of 1889.

The city was first named Chickachippa but after Mr. Cliff learned that the name Chickachippa was an extremely vulgar word in the Mohawk language it was changed and named after him (Fiscal Cliff) instead.

In the movie Pattinson will portray Ambrose Sippletower, a local tavern owner who is credited with inventing the tremendously popular term Happy Hour.

Heidi Montag will play his love interest and tavern hostess-strumpet Organzina Mullinbiscuit, who is credited with making several improvements and innovations to the intimate act known as a Ménage-à-Trois.

Up and coming Hollywood starlets Lollipop Wildstick and Lexie Amaretto will portray the Buttermeyer sisters, Haley and Sally, who are employed as butter churners at the Fiscal Cliff Butter Churning Factory, but who in reality are town vampires Quintessa and Griminia Darktontello.

SIDENOTE: Terrabini has stated that the film will most likely receive an R-rating due to the erotically explicit, sex scene between Ambrose Sippletower, Organzina Mullinbiscuit, and Lollipop Wildstick, which he pointed out took 13 takes to finally get just right.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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