Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 1 January 2013

image for Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Are Shopping For Wedding Cakes
Demi and Ashton shown on their wedding day back on September 21, 2005. (Photo courtesy of Barbara Walters).

NEW ORLEANS - After waiting one full year for his wife (Demi Moore) to file for divorce, Ashton Kutcher has finally taken it upon himself to hit his soon-to-be-ex-wife with divorce papers.

Kutcher who is 34, had said that he was in hopes that Moore, who at 50, is certainly old enough to be his mother, would have filed first.

But as Ashton's personal hair stylist FuFi Fondue recently told him, Demi had made it abundantly clear that Brad Pitt would get sexual reassignment surgery before she would file for divorce.

Reports are that when Angelina Jolie heard Moore's remark about her fiancé (Pitt) she yelled out that she is fed up with Moore going on and on about how she was mistreated by her boy-toy.

Jolie said 50-year-old whining Demi should have realized that the odds of a young man like Kutcher staying with a woman 16 years older than him are about 137,000 to 1.

According to statistics put out by the national statistics gathering agency of Stats 'R' Us, the May-December marriages that have a chance of working out are the ones where May is a female and December is some real, real, old, passive, rich-as-hell male who is worth at least $25 million.

Meanwhile, Ashton's stunningly sensuous girlfriend Mila Kunis, 29, let Ashton know that if divorce papers were not set in motion before January 1, 2013, that he could possibly find her gone, just like the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants hopes of making it into the NFL playoffs.

Ashton quickly made arrangements to file for divorce before the end of the year and now he and Mila have been spotted on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills shopping for wedding cakes

SIDENOTE: To check out some successful May-December marriages where May is the male and December is the female go to the Internet and check out the 35-word article at www.mayguydecembergal.old

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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