Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 23 December 2012

image for John Mayer To Break Up With Katy Perry?
Katy has said that if John proposes to her, she will say yes. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Well it appears that the word on the streets of West Holly, as former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger refers to it, is that John "The Player" Mayer, 34, will soon be dumping 28-year-old Katy Perry.

The couple who have lasted longer than 93 percent of the Hollywood entertainment media predicted appear to be extremely happy (on the outside at least).

But an unnamed source has revealed that Johnny is always belittling Katy in front of friends, neighbors, and Carrie Ann Inaba, by making fun of her ping pong ball-sized eyes.

The source was quoted as saying that Katy, on the other hand, has fallen head-over-heels and tits-over-ankles for the music man, who has a history of loving them and leaving them.

Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle recently stated that Mayer goes through celebrity lovers like Kirstie Alley goes through chocolate cup cakes.

The unnamed source, who is a good friend of Katy's, expressed the fact that she has tried to tell the "I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It" singer that Mayer is nothing but a player and he will break her trusting heart just as sure as Kobe Bryant loves to put the blame for losing on his Los Angeles Laker teammates.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Katy's friend who did not want her name revealed is Calypso "Legs" Fryfripple, 21, who works as a pole dancer at The 10-Foot-Pole Lounge in Redondo Beach.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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