Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 18 December 2012

image for Lady Gaga Responds To The Fat Comments
Lady Gaga has said that her next costume will be made out of 13,781 Concord Grapes. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

DETROIT - Lady Gaga was sitting backstage in her dressing room after just having performed at The Carburetor Coliseum.

She was asked about the fact that the venue had not been sold out and if that concerned her.

The New York native put down her box of pizza and replied that she did not realize that it was not a sold out concert and remarked that although utterly disappointed she was not drastically concerned.

Calcutta Cotton with Music Moments Magazine asked her why she was not concerned that attendance to her concerts has started dwindling.

Lady Gaga replied "Well maybe it's because I am worth $150 million and I won't exactly be going on food stamps anytime soon."

She then brought up the fact that iRumors reporter Ling Chow Rangoon had stated in a recent television piece that she (LG) has recently put on about 28 to 34 pounds.

The 26-year-old singer said that the correct number is 35 pounds and that the only reason she has gained so much weight is because she is trying to eat as many Hostess Twinkies as she can before the company stops making them.

She laughed as she confessed that she is also trying to drink as much Coca Cola as she can before it stops being made.

The songstress whose real name is Stefani Joanne Angela Germanotta recently appeared on an episode of the cable hit show The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

In the episode she portrayed herself and she had a semi-lesbianite affair with Ribby Updyke, who is known as the show's resident licentiously lewd lesbian pedicurist.

Lady Gaga said that she enjoyed working with Ribby and added that Miss Updyke taught her a lot about toes, toenails, feet, and some of the intimate lesbianite phrases that lipstick lesbians use to describe various parts of the female body.

The 5-foot-1-inch tall singer giggled when she said that she mentioned to the shows producers Seth and Shirley Firkin that she would love to make another appearance on their wonderfully adult-themed show.

In Other News. Justin Bieber, who admits that lately he has been losing his temper more and more, stated that if Selena (Gomez) does not take him back before Christmas, he is really going to lose his temper and start calling certain people certain unprintable names.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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