Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 18 December 2012

image for Kat Von D Gets Engaged!
A picture of the ring Joel Zimmerman purchased at Walmart for his highly tattooed fianceé Kat Von D.

AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California - One of America's most tattooed females, Kat Von D is floating on Cloud 9.

She has just announced that her on-again, off-again boyfriend Joel Zimmerman AKA Deadmau5, a local L.A. disc jockey, has asked her to be his permanent woman (wife).

Kat stated that the timing could not have been more perfect as she just recently went to the tattoo parlor and had seven tattoos that pertained to Sandra Bullock's ex-husband and her ex-fiancé Jesse "Woody" James.

JoZim, as Barbara Walters of The View calls him, revealed to Buck Yazoo with Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine that he was just waiting for Kit Kat, as he calls Kat, to have the seven "Messy" Jesse tattoos removed from her overly tattooed body.

Kat Von D (Drachenberg) told Yazoo that she immediately accepted JoZim's proposal which he gave her while standing on his head and juggling an orange, a papaya, and a bowling ball.

Von D said that her soon-to-be husband is so talented that he could easily be a part of The Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus or even appear as a guest on the cable TV show The Cajun Crawfish Catching Wars.

SIDENOTE: Kat Von D told Buck Yazoo off-the-record that she will be getting a brand new tattoo on her (BLANK) within the next few days which will showcase the words "This here (BLANK) belongs to Joel Zimmerman only!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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