Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 14 December 2012

image for Lindsay Lohan Says She's Too Pretty To Go To Prison
Lindsay shown on a recent visit to Charlie Sheen's Casa Jose Cuervo Mansion in Sherman Oaks.

LOS ANGELES - The troubled sand grains are flowing faster through Lindsay Lohan's hour glass than M&Ms out of the package to Kirstie Alley's mouth.

The little celebutante has finally gotten to the point where she has used up her entire allotment of 17 chances as per the Tinsel Town Starlet Society.

Lohan has showed time and time again that she has no respect for the law and she truly believes that she is above it like her good friend Paris "I'm Hot" Hilton.

The freckle-faced actress stated, a week ago to Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle, that she is much too pretty to go to prison.

She giggled as she remarked that no judge would even dream of sending such a fabulous movie star as her to an ugly old prison filled with low-life, common females.

Tapioca Swizzle with Tittle Tattle Tonight has pointed out that Lindsay has got to stop blaming other people for her misfortunes.

LiLo has tried to place the blame for her horrendously atrocious actions and her childishly spoiled behavior on her mom, her dad, her ex-fianceé Samantha Ronson, Barbara Walters, and even on Little Bunny Foo AKA Congressman Paul Ryan.

In her latest escapade Lohan reportedly bit a Lake Tahoe fortune teller who merely suggested that she better get her act together or else she will end up in The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women.

Lindsay became so angry she grabbed the fortune teller's crystal ball and tossed it at her, hitting her on her right tibia and causing it to swell to the size of a standard African elephant's foot.

Lohan quickly offered to pay for the damaged crystal ball as well as for the fortune teller's doctor bills but the woman identified as Etta Sutterfizz, 30, yelled out "No way Jose!" as she reached for her cell phone.

She reportedly was all smiles as she called up noted Los Angeles lawsuit attorney Ginger Allred.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Lindsay Lohan is a perfect example of a spoiled diva who is so naive and so dumb that she thinks a pomegranate is a cute little dog.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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