Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 11 December 2012

image for Bruce Jenner Talking The Big "D"
Bruce Jenner has reportedly secured the legal services of famed Left Coast attorney, Ginger Allred. (Photo by Gloria Allred).

HOLLYWOOD - Stating that he has put up with way more BS than what 99.7 percent of American males would, Bruce Jenner has reportedly contacted famed L.A. attorney Ginger Allred about getting a divorce from Queen Kris of The House of Kardashian.

The former Olympic star informed Miss Allred that his wife, Kris Jenner, who is the matriarch of the Kardashian empire, has made him feel as if he is simply one of the hired help.

Jenner says that he has had the dreaded 7 year inch for over 13 years now and is tired of being the family gopher.

He recently told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that he is very upset at the infamous cross dressing rumors, the botox rumors, and the Ann Coulter rumors.

Miss Chipotle asked him about the Coulter rumors. Bruce replied that Kris, Kim, and Khloe all think that he had an affair back in the summer of 2001, with Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter the GOP mouthpiece maven.

Jenner denies it saying that if he would have had an affair back in 2001, it would have been with someone like Bo Derek, Donna Mills, or Priscilla Presley, but certainly not with that arrogant, sarcastic, hate-spewing woman Ann Coulter.

Bruce noted that one of the main issues in the divorce will be the matter of custody of their two underage daughters Kendall and Kylie.

He disclosed that his attorney has stated that she feels that in the best interest of everyone concerned, Bruce should get custody of one of the girls and Kris will get custody of the other.

SIDENOTE: Bedroom Pillow Talk reports that this type of custodial agreement works out great in Tinsel Town as it literally saves couples an average of $85,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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