Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 3 December 2012

image for Justin Bieber's joy as birth mum Kate Middleton 'gestating again'
Bieber's new sibling counld be the new Douche of Pratts Bottom

Canada - "Wow, what a fantastic early Christmas present!" pals of the Canadian entertainer said today amid news that his real birth mother the Douchesse of Cambridge is expecting again.

Millions of dollars have been spent by British and Canadians Hellfire Club interests hoodwinking the public about Bieber being Kate's firstborn following her teenage shag 'with a much older male'.

The royal hoaxer and alleged bigamist has since made millions from UK taxpayer-funded gravy train handouts channelling squeaky clean Kate, bride of Prince William.

This September she and her husband wowed a number of brain-dead Far Eastern countries during yet another foreign holiday as part of the Puppet Monarch's faux Golden Jubilee celebrations.

"We did wonder at first why this strange young woman - the daughter of Cherie Blair and an Italian gangsta - was touring the world on behalf of the British monarchy," a bewildered NATO official commented this afternoon.

"Then we got the tip-off that her 'husband' William is none other than Tony Blair's son by J K Rowling!

"What a f***ing disaster THAT will be when all the blood tests are made public."

Earlier this year QM-NewsCorpse sources reported that top Italian crime lord Silvio Berlusconi is Justin's babyfather.

"Yeah, but that was before the Jimmy Savile scandal went viral," editorial sources commented, "reckon it's a 50-50 chance that Old Jim fixed it good and proper for Kate circa 1994!

"And don't forget that her only lawfully wedded husband, UK Chancellor George Osborne, remains a 4/1 co-favorite for the Bieber paternity."

Meanwhile cyber bookies remain unfazed by news of Kate's gestation and have posted odds of 10/11 that the child will be an alien hybrid.

"Whatever is gestating inside Little Miss Impostor will never sit on the throne, heheh," Aintgottaprayer.con odds setters said tonight, "apart from maybe trying to poop on it some day."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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