Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 3 December 2012

image for Taylor Swift Rebounds With One Direction's Harry Styles
Taylor and Harry were warned about feeding the ducks in Central Park. (Photo courtesy of Piers Morgan).

NEW YORK CITY - Taylor Swift seems to be able to get more boyfriends than Cameron Diaz, Lady Gaga, and Kat Von D all put together.

Taylor's latest boyfriend is Harry Styles of the band One Direction. The two reportedly met at a Shanghai Sue's Sushi Sandwich Shop in Marina Del Rey, California.

Reports are that the very first thing that Swift said to Styles was that he resembled a very, very young Mick Jagger.

He laughed and said that he kind of took it as a compliment except for Mick's lips, which could compete with Steven Tyler's lips for the Biggest Lips in The Music Business.

He then told Taylor that she reminded him of his cousin Sadie Furpyfelt. She remarked because she can sing like her. And Harry quipped no because she jumps from one boyfriend to another like she's jumping on hot coals.

Swift and Styles were recently seen at New York's Central Park where they were feeding pizza to the ducks. A police officer walked by and saw them and told them not to be feeding the ducks pizza because they get spoiled and they'll want it all the time.

Styles told the officer that he really could not tell him what to feed the ducks and that if he wanted to feed them sirloin steak he would do it.

The officer, identified as Officer Elmer F. Snickerkiddle, Jr., told Styles that if he saw him feed pizza to one more duck he would taser him quicker than David Crosby can eat a cupcake.

Taylor asked if the officer knew who he was talking to. He looked at her and remarked that he was talking to a fella that if he has any friggin sense in his effen head will obey his instructions and not feed any freakin pizza to the friggin ducks.

Styles threw what was left of their pizza in the trash and he and Taylor headed over to Macy's where he bought her a brand new guitar strap, a charm bracelet, and some underwear.

In Other News. Sarah Palin, feeling totally ignored, reportedly called up the producers of Dancing With The Stars and said that she would like to appear on next season's edition. She was told that having already had one Palin (Bristol) is about all they can stand.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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