Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 30 November 2012

image for X-Factor Eliminates Two More Singers
Simon's worth $350 million. This is a money suitcase he keeps in the trunk of his $1 million Bugatti Veyron.

HOLLYWOOD - Paige Thomas, who received the lowest amount of viewer votes, was eliminated right off the bat on the results show of X-Factor.

Co-host Mario Lopez said that he really hated to see Paige go because he felt that she was not really the worst singer out of the eight remaining contestants.

Mario's co-host Khloe Kardashian-Odom asked him who he felt was the worst singer. Lopez blushed and told her that he was not at liberty to say as per the instructions of "Their" boss Mr. Simon Cowell.

Mario did say that Paige did have a tendency of wearing way too much lipstick and the huge amounts of glittery lip gloss she added to the lipstick made it hard for the viewers to concentrate on her and not on her lusciously illuminating lips.

Khloe giggled and told Mario that he was starting to sound a little like FuFi Fondue the infamous Hair Stylist to the Stars. Judge L.A. Reid quickly hollered out that Mario was much taller than Fondue.

Last year's number two finalist Jason Krajcik performed an original song title, "I Haven't Changed A Bit In One Year, As You Can See I Still Look Like Joe Cocker."

Alicia Keyes also performed on stage. She wore a hairdo from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 as she sang the Carly Rae Jepsen song "Call Me Maybe."

Simon told Alicia he liked the way she projected the song. L.A. Reid replied it was a bad song choice. Alicia made some comments directed at Reid, which the censors bleeped out.

Khloe laughed and remarked that the carryings on just felt like a typical Saturday afternoon at the Kardashian Komplex.

Vino Alan and Diamond White found themselves in the dreaded Bottom 2. Diamond sang a South African uptempo song which was written for her by ex-American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi titled, "My Diamond Necklace Came From A South African Diamond Mine."

Vino, in keeping with his patriotic theme decided to sing Francis Scott Keys "The Star Spangled Banner." He did a good job but Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, and Simon Cowell all voted to send him home.

SIDENOTE: L.A. Reid voted to send Diamond home. After the show Reid remarked that by voting against Vino, his three fellow judges had disrespected Old Glory, apple pie, baseball, and Gilligan's Island.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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