CHICAGO - Demi Moore was in the Windy City shopping for a certain pair of imported Swiss winter boots and trying to take her mind off of her husband Ashton Kutcher, 34, and his baby girlfriend Mila Kunis, 29.
As she was strolling along downtown singing the hit song "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen, she was approached by Tilapia Frisbee a reporter for The Right Coast Illustrated Revue.
Demi invited her to join her for some lunch and lots of wine at The Le Loins of Joan of Arc French Restaurant. The RCIR reporter was more than thrilled.
As the two sat at their table drinking glasses of Chateau Bellevue Cholet Wine, Moore appeared to be in a much happier mood than she has been in months.
Right away Frisbee asked if there was perhaps a new man in her life. Moore's eyes got the size of medium-sized marshmallows and she answered that there was.
She immediately asked her new BFF what had given her away. Miss Frisbee replied that it was definitely the fact that she had slurred some of her words, plus the fact that she had a certain glow in her eyes, plus she pointed out that in just six minutes she had mentioned the name Vito Schnabel a total of nine times.
Demi, who is 50, giggled like a 15-year-old school girl. She told Miss Frisbee that she had in fact met the much younger Vito Schnabel, 26, at a piñata party that Cher had thrown for Madonna at Kirstie Alley's Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Calories.
Demi said that when the song Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel started playing, Vito walked up to her and remarked that they were playing Their song.
A puzzled Moore asked who Their was. He replied that she and he were Their.
Demi got up, kissed him on the mouth, and the two hit the dance floor. After dancing two more songs together, Demi suggested that they go back to her house and see about doing some dancing over there. She winked.
Vito swept her off her feet and carried his new-found queen to his 2013 Lamborghini.
The boy-toy then drove off to Moore's mansion with his brand new cougar sitting contentedly on his lap.
SIDENOTE: Hopefully for Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, Demi and her brand new boy-toy fall head-over-heels in love with each other so that she can finally give Kutcher his divorce and he can then be free to marry the ravishingly stunning Mila Kunis.