Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 29 November 2012

image for Jessica Simpson's Got Another Baby Bump!
Jessica is 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant. (Photo courtesy of Jimmy Kimmel).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jessica Simpson gave birth to a baby boy on May 1, and seven months later she is pregnant again.

Simpson, 32, says that she is literally shocked that one of her eggs got fertilized so quickly. She commented that it is somewhat bittersweet because she just recently managed to finally lose the 102 pounds she had gained when she was pregnant with Maxwell House Drew Simpson-Johnson.

Jessica is 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant. She remarked that when she told her fiancé Eric Johnson that they were having another little one he dropped the copy of Playboy Magazine he was reading, he fainted, and she ended up having to call 9-1-1.

Simpson spoke with Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle and told her that she had no idea that she would be getting pregnant so damn friggin quick.

She giggled and said that she feels like OctoMom, Nadya Suleman, except only a whole lot prettier, richer, and with a much more pleasant-sounding voice.

The actress, who is best noted for looking quite erotically sensuous in a pair of Daisy Duke shorts, told Ms. Chipotle that her obstetrician Dr. Zimaretto Yovanovich tried to get her on the birth control pill but she nixed the idea.

She insisted that her and Eric would go ahead and incorporate the rhythm method of birth control which one of her cousin's Daytona "Lucky Lips" Nixongaster, 29, has been using for four years.

Jessica's gynecologist, Dr. Ashwani Raheem Mumbidibad, Jr., who delivered little Maxwell House, was contacted at L.A.'s Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital and told of Simpson's pregnancy.

Nurses reported that Dr. Mumbidibad loudly yelled out "WHAT?" and that five patients actually pressed their nurse's button and claimed that there appeared to be a crazy person somewhere on the floor.

Doctor Mumbi, as hospital security calls him, allegedly nodded his head. He rolled his eyes. And he remarked that he had warned Jessica that using the rhythm method was about as affective as using Jello in place of contraceptive foam.

SIDENOTE: Jessica said that on a positive note, at least now even if she should gain 120 pounds she will know exactly what she has to do to lose it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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