Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 27 November 2012

image for Charlie Sheen To Angus T. Jones: What The Hell Are You Doing Kid?
Angus T. Jones makes $350,000 per episode of Two and A Half Men. (Photo courtesy of Ashton Kutcher).

LOS ANGELES - In a move that can only be described as indescribable, Angus T. Jones, who has portrayed Jake Harper on the sit-com Two and A Half Men for 10 years, has just bitten the hand that feeds him and feeds him well.

The 19-year-old made a video in which he proceeds to say that the show is filth, it is nothing but fiction, the sexy girls on the show all have fake boobs, the piano is actually made out of Styrofoam, and the show isn't even filmed on Malibu Beach, where it reportedly takes place.

Charlie Sheen, who appeared on the show for 8 years as (Jake's) Uncle Charlie Harper and was involved in some mattress merriment with over 200 Hollywood starlets on the show, saw the video and immediately called up Angus and asked "What the hell are you doing kid?"

Sheen went on to say that he has left himself wide open and now the shows creator, producer, and chief writer Chuck Lorre will barbecue him so fast he won't even have time to smell the smoke.

Charlie, went through the whole Lorre wrath when he left the show and he told Angus that he (CS) now realizes that he was absolutely stupid, stupid, stupid, to walk away from a weekly salary of $1.25 million!

Sheen told young Jones, that he suggests that he calls up Mr. Lorre and begs for his forgiveness and that he takes back everything he said.

And so what if the show isn't filmed on Malibu Beach; the epic motion picture Titanic wasn't filmed in the North Atlantic - it was filmed in Baja California, Mexico, but no one gave a thousandth of a damn about it.

Charlie told Angus that he is the luckiest 19-year-old in America. He then reminded him that he is making an astoundingly amazing $350,000 a week! just for reciting a few little silly lines here and there.

He then mentioned that if he gets fired or quits he will no longer have access to the one thing he likes about Two and A Half Men - the food catering truck.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The members of the entertainment media have already taken away Charlie Sheen's old nickname of the Space Cadet and they have handed it over to Angus T. Jones. And here are my two cents worth: Angus T. Jones - Boy you better get down on your hands and knees and say it was all a joke because you have no Earthly idea how fabulously fantastic you have it little fella!]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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