Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 25 November 2012

image for Demi Moore Despises Ashton Kutcher's Girlfriend Mila Kunis
Ashton has stated that Mila (shown in photo) makes him 12 times happier than Demi (Moore) ever did.

VENICE BEACH - Demi Moore had gone down to Venice Beach on a shopping spree. As she was trying on a pair of sandals at a local shoe store she was approached by Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors.

Moore was asked how she was feeling in regards to hitting the big 5-0. The G.I. Jane actress looked right at Miss Rangoon and replied that she did not appreciate her asking her such a personal question.

Miss Rangoon remarked that her age is a matter of public record just like the fact that she has shown tremendous bitterness towards her still-husband Kutcher, and has stated publicly that she despises his new girlfriend 29-year-old Mila Kunis and that she hopes that she starts developing cellulite on her tata's before too long.

Moore rolled her eyes and told Rangoon that she was through talking to her and that perhaps she needed to go and interview someone more to her liking like Andy Dick, Naomi Campbell, Tracy Morgan, or some other loser.

Rangoon grinned and quipped that Lindsay Lohan was correct and she (DM) does have a chip on her shoulder bigger than Melissa McCarthy.

She then pointed out that Susan Sarandon has stated dozens of times that May-December marriages in which the woman is much older than the man end up in divorce in 97 percent of the cases.

Demi retorted by saying that Kunis has all the personality of a paper clip. She then added that Rangoon really needs to go in and see about getting a liposuction estimate.

Rangoon fired back by saying that if she really wants to know why 34-year-old Ashton left her cougar butt all she has to do is look in the mirror and see the 50-year-old bitter, angry, hate-filled person he ran, not walked away from.

And with that, Demi looked down at her watch and said that she had to go because she had to get to her plastic surgeon to see about getting several of her body parts lifted, tucked, nipped, snipped, tightened, and botoxed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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