Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 24 November 2012

image for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Turned Down For A Talk Show
Kanye was so sure of getting the talk show co-hosting job that he went out and bought an expensive microphone.

LOS ANGELES - Word out of LaLaLand is that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have been approached by The Epitome Network to co-host a one hour weekday talk show.

EN spokesperson Tansinella "Tansi" Wickovich, stated that the show is being produced by Simon Cowell's Black T-Shirt Production Company in association with Left Coast Libido Films.

Wickovich told The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that at first the producers were going to go with Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez as co-hosts but after Selena dumped the Biebs that pretty well shot that idea in the foot.

Also considered for the co-hosting jobs were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Wickovich said that those plans were scrapped due to the fact that Pitt has put on quite a bit of weight lately.

And coupled with the globe-hopping lifestyle of Pitt and Jolie, it would almost be next to impossible to get them to commit to the rigors of putting on a daily talk show.

Wickovich pointed out that another reason was due to the fact that Brad and Angelina both have one of the worst hot-cold tempers in show business and both have been known to have tossed their share of plates, spoons, forks, and ketchup bottles.

The Epitome Network spokesperson said that the network then thought about hiring Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to be the co-hosts of the talk show.

But one of the EN assistants, Lulu Friskinbaker, 30, pointed out that she recalls once seeing Kim and Kanye at a local Flamboyant Tortilla Restaurant in Beverly Hills.

She said that Kanye suddenly exploded with all kinds of expletives at the waitress simply because she forgot to bring him a coaster for his Singapore Sling drink.

The waitress got in Kanye's face and told him that Kim's husband Kris Humphries still comes into the Flamboyant Tortilla quite a bit and he has never acted like a spoiled rotten diva like him.

West hollered out that he wanted to talk to the manager because he was going to have the waitress fired.

The manager showed up, listened to Mr. West's speil, and quietly asked him and Ms. Kardashian to please leave his eating establishment.

Kanye, arrogantly asked him why. And the manager replied because he will not allow anyone including Star Jones, Madonna, Barbara Walters, Tommy Lee Jones, or Kanye "The Pest" West to talk in an abusive manner to any of his employees.

SIDENOTE: The waitress was identified as Mitzi Yanofsky, 29. And the manager was identified as Quirkston Yanofsky, 37, Mitzi's husband.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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