Written by Simon Saunders
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Thursday, 22 November 2012

image for No Worries For Dorries As She's Booted Out Of The Jungle
Dorries could find herself up a certain creek without a paddle following her jungle bungle

Occassional Conservative MP and full-time attention seeker Nadine Dorries has become the first person to be voted off ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'.

Dorries, who's not even a celebrity, became the first sitting MP since George Galloway to appear on a reality show.

Galloway made a fool of himself on 'Celebrity Big Brother' back in 2006 when he pretended to be a cat lapping up milk from actress Rula Lenska's cupped hands. Whereas Dorries wolfed down a baked spider, a camel toe, an ostrich's anus and a lamb's testicle as part of a 'Bushtucker Trial'.

Now that Dorries has exited the jungle she won't have to eat anymore unpleasant meals. Instead she will return to feeding the public a load of old unpalatable nonsense in her role as an MP, if she's allowed back into parliament.

Since leaving the jungle, Dorries, who is currently suspended, has become involved in yet another row with her party. She claims she had permission to desert her job as a representative of the people for a month from former Tory chief whip and "plebgate" instigator Andrew Mitchell. Although she didn't tell him why because she was bound by a confidentiality clause.

Mitchell says he didn't give her permission to go on the show and she didn't seek permission to go on the show. "Mad Nad" as she's known, has accused Mitchell of trying to be clever with words. Not something Mitchell has been accused of before.

"It epitomises politicians." said Dorries, the epitome of politicians. Dorries then attempted to be clever with words. "No, he didn't give me permission to go on the show but he did let me have a month off and I told him it would be controversial," she bleated.

One Tory MP, who wishes to remain anonymous unlike Dorries, told us, "It's interesting that she didn't want to break that confidentiality clause but was happy to break the trust of her constituents. I think we all know where her priorities lie."

Dorries, who has donated her MP's wages, incidently taxpayers money, to charity while she was in the jungle, but kept the much bigger payment she's received for being on the show was asked whether she was worried about how her constituents would react, the self-deluded MP said, "No, I'm not worried. They'll understand why I did the show."

For her own sake I hope she's correct because no-one else understands why she did it.

Unless it was for the money and the attention.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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