Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 18 November 2012

image for Matt Lauer - The TV Grinch Who Stole Christmas
Lauer perfers to receive his $30 million yearly salary in one lump sum check.

NEW YORK CITY - The Peacock Network will soon have to layoff some of its Today Show employees in order to help offset the tremendous amount of money that they are paying host Matt Lauer.

A spokesperson for NBC stated that "The Diva" Lauer is paid the astoundingly exorbitant yearly salary of $30 million.

One Today Show employee who was afraid to give her name stated that several employees have asked Mr. Lauer to please consider taking a pay cut in order to keep some of the employees from getting laid off.

Mr. Lauer reportedly stated that he is not Santa Claus and the way he sees it, he earns every penny of his $30 million by working very hard at his job, which consists basically of talking, listening, talking, listening, and interrupting.

Matt "The Brat," as Ann Curry calls him, further went on to say that in lieu of taking a pay cut he will donate $150 to the Today Show Christmas Party Fund.

Fellow Today Show member Al Roker, who is a good friend of Ann Curry's, reportedly told Lauer to take the $150 and put it towards getting some much-needed hair plugs.

In Breaking News. Reports out of Hoogeveen, Holland are that the Hoogeveen Federal Prison is such a nice, pleasant prison that three days ago two former convicts actually tried to break into the prison.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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