Written by Crunk
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Wednesday, 14 November 2012

image for Cockroach 'still traumatised' after appearing on 'I'm a Celebrity'
Colin, getting legless after his ordeal

A cockroach is still undergoing trauma counselling days after an apalling experience that many are citing as 'a stunt too far'.

Despite support from his extended family, many who found themselves in the same boat (or bucket, being tipped over Nadine Dorries), Colin is finding it hard to come to terms with what has happened.

"It all seemed like a bit of fun to start with, and I thought, well, maybe it would be a bit horrid, but I would come out of it a more rounded cockroach". Colin explained how it then all got out of control. "I lost my bearings then found myself actually slithering over her belly, and couldn't stop myself going into her shorts. It was awful".

Several of his colleagues then needed to gently stroke Colin with their antennae before he felt able to continue, "I felt a bead of her sweat actually trickle up under my carapace!" he sobbed. "I rolled around in dung afterwards, and even found a putrescing rat corpse to bathe in. I still can't seem to get clean!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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