Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 14 November 2012

image for Dancing With The Stars: Kirstie Alley and Gilles Marini Are Booted Off In A Double Elimination
Kirstie stated that she is really going to miss the pizzas which were provided by The Eats-R-Us Catering Service.

HOLLYWOOD - Kirstie Alley did not spend as much time laughing and acting silly on the Dancing With The Stars 'results show' as she did on the 'elimination show.'

Kirstie, known as "The California Quake" and her professional dance partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy found themselves in last place after receiving the lowest score of the night for their Viennese Waltz.

British Judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman told Kirstie and Maksim that Kirstie's Viennese Waltz performance seemed more like The March of The Minnesota Vikings.

Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli said that he had to close his eyes because he was afraid that she was going to accidentally break away from Maksim's hand and end up smashing into the second or third row.

And Carrie Ann Inaba giggled and said that Kirstie reminded her a little bit of Chaz Bono except that Chaz is shorter, stockier, and used to be a girl.

When Tom Bergeron announced Kirstie's name as the first celebrity dancer going home, she yelled out, "Kiss my enormous aspirin bottle Tom."

She was quickly reminded by Brooke Burke Charvet that young children were in the audience and watching at home and Alley corrected herself by saying, "Kiss my enormous aspirin cup Tom."

Meanwhile Gilles "The Frenchman" Marini and his partner Peta "Mmmmm-Mmmmm" Murgatroyd danced a quick step that Goodman called bloody good but just not bloomin' quick enough.

Tonioli remarked that he liked the dance. He then winked at Gilles and told him that he wanted to speak with him after the show in his dressing room.

Carrie Ann simply said that she was amazed that at times it actually seemed like (Gilles) was dancing with a French accent.

Goodman turned to her and with an extremely puzzled look on his face asked, "Goodness woman, and what da bloomin' 'ell 'ave ya been drinkin' huh?"

SIDENOTE: After the show Maksim stated that he is going to miss Kirstie's wackiness and the way she would sneak up behind him and give him a French kiss. Gilles confessed that he is going to really miss seeing and accidentally rubbing up against Peta's prize-winning tata's.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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