Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 11 November 2012

image for The Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Relationship Is History
Kora The Kangaroo, one of the animals at The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo. (Photo by Selena Gomez).

TARZANA - Selena Gomez took one of her nieces to The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana in an effort to help get her mind off the break up between her and Justin.

Gomez, 20, talked with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk as she carefully watched her niece petting and feeding Chucky The Chicken.

Selena, trying to hold back a tear, told Miss Chipotle that it was ironic that Chucky The Chicken just happens to be Justin's favorite petting zoo animal.

She was asked which of all the animals was her personal favorite. She smiled and pointed over towards Ramon The Neutered Rabbit who somehow had worked his way into Kora The Kangaroo's pocket.

Chipotle started laughing and remarked that she had never seen anything like that before and noted that Ramon looked as happy as a honey bee in a flower shop.

Gomez was asked what had caused the breakup between her and Justin. She looked down at the ground and said that there were lots of things, but that one of the main ones was the fact that since Justin is only 18, that makes her a cougar.

The singer took a sip of her Kalahari Diet Bottled Water and said that she just did not feel right being one of America's youngest cougars at the tender age of 20.

She also confessed that she had noticed that Justin had developed a quick temper and was prone to explode at the drop of a hat.

She revealed that recently while they were having breakfast at a Flamboyant Tortilla Mexican Restaurant in Redondo Beach that the waiter had accidentally dropped his hat and Justy went ballistic.

He yelled out that the hat could have landed in his guacamole dip, or in the pico de gallo hot sauce, or even on his three-meat burrito.

The manager, Juan José Higglebrush, 37, walked over and apologized to Bieber and told him that he was comping the meal. Justin then told him that he also wanted one dozen free tamales to go.

Higglebrush told him to get out of his restaurant and to never ever come back. Justin reminded him that he was Justin Bieber. And Higglebrush replied that he didn't care if he was Nancy Pelosi.

Selena said that Justin was so insulted and so embarrassed that he said he was going to write a derogatory song called "The Flamboyant Tortilla."

Gomez told Miss Chipotle that she wishes Justin the best and hopes that he finds a new girlfriend who will put up with his hot-Canadian temper.

In A Related Story. November 17, is National Buy A Piñata Day, except in Arizona.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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