Written by lucifervandross
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Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Citizens of the United States from both sides of the political line feel like there is a lot riding on today's presidential election but News Corporation owner Rupert Murdoch felt it necessary to up the ante in a press conference he held this morning in New York City.

"For a long time I've been an enabler by allowing Fox to air shows that push a liberal agenda," Murdoch stated. "While the Republicans were in power this was okay, but now as we face what could be the undoing of this great nation I feel I must take action."

Murdoch went on to say that he would cancel the Tuesday night comedy lineup which contains such hits as Raising Hope, The New Girl, The Mindy Project and Ben and Kate if Obama wins the presidential election.

"No longer will the nation have single parents, a group of single friends or a single Indian-American female doctor to laugh at," Murdoch continued. "These singles go against our great nation's family values."

Murdoch went on to remind the nation that they can keep the Tuesday night line-up by voting for Romney.

Murdoch had good news for actor Max Greenfield, whose character "Schmidt" from the show The New Girl will be able to find a home on Fox News as a correspondent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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