Written by Aspartame Boy
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Monday, 5 November 2012

image for Ozzy Osbourne has brain surgically removed to prevent Alzheimer's
This bit of brain was was chopped up and sold on the street for $50.00 a bag

Ozzy's House - Following the lead of his wife who cut off her breast to prevent cancer, Ozzy has had most of his brain cut out in a bold attempt to prevent Alzheimer's.

His wife had this to say. "I think it has really improved his disposition. He used to be so petulant and scream like a banshee. Now he is as docile as a little mouse. He just stares at me sweetly. He never repeats himself.

"Every sound he makes is different. Of course, I haven't understood a word he has said for months anyway, but I think he is much happier now. I was so afraid the aspartame was going to get him. Now I know he is safe. He is in his happy place all the time now."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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