Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 4 November 2012

image for Taylor Swift Says She's Never Ever Getting Back Together With Conor Kennedy
Taylor shown during a recent concert at The Voodoo Arena in New Orleans. (Photo courtesy of Rico Chorizo).

NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift's latest album titled Red has already sold 1.2 copies in just the first week alone.

iRumors reported that although she is very happy she was a little disappointed at losing out the CMA Country Music Entertainer of The Year Award to the much, much older Blake "The Voice" Shelton.

Taylor, 22, reportedly remarked that the reason why Shelton won the award is because he appears on the hit show The Voice, and as a result he gets a lot of free national exposure and publicity.

Swift told Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors that she has contacted Simon Cowell to see if he would consider firing the arrogantly conceited L.A. Reid and hiring her to join Britney Spears and Demi Lovato as the third female judge on X-Factor.

T-Swizzle, as Barbara Walters calls her, pointed out that she thought about asking Ryan Seacrest if she could be a judge on American Idol but after thinking about it decided against the idea for fear that Nicki "Miss Out-of-Control" Minaj would become angry with her and possibly physically attack her.

Taylor was asked by Miss Vermicelli about her break up with the much younger Conor Kennedy who is only 18.

She smiled and said that she just got bored with the May-December relationship and got tired of being referred to as 'that 22-year-old cougar.'

Taylor was asked if there was any chance that she and Conor would possibly get back together.

She grinned as she put down her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and glass of milk and replied, "I am never, ever getting back together with Conor Kennedy."

SIDENOTE: Taylor's single "Helping My Boy-Toy With His Homework" has just become the number one song in Massachusetts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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