Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 November 2012

image for X-Factor's Drew Ryniewicz - The Opening Act For The Rolling Stones
During the four concerts Mick will be using a Shure Microphone he was given in 1972, by Queen Elizabeth.

NEWARK, New Jersey - This year marks the 50th anniversary of The Rolling Stones who have been rocking and rolling since 1962.

Sir Humphrey Baronfeister, a spokesperson for The 50 Years and Counting Tour stated that the geriatric band will only be performing four concerts.

Two of the concerts will be in London's O2 Arena and two in The Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey.

Sir Baronfeister stated that after going through a list of 53 possible opening acts for the two U.S. concerts they were finally able to narrow it down to the final three.

The three acts were Bob Dylan, Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz, and Drew Ryniewicz, an X-Factor finalist from last season.

It turned out that Dylan was already booked to play at The Inebriated Kangaroo Lounge in New York City and could not break his contract.

Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz were scratched off the list because the concert promoters realized that rock music and rap music mix about as well as Ann Coulter and Rosie O'Donnell.

Drew Ryniewicz, who is only 15, was chosen to help bring in the young teenage concert goer since the Rolling Stones are all over 60.

Lead singer Mick Jagger is 69, Keith Richards is 68, Charlie Watts is 71, and Ron Wood is 65.

Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight recently met with the Rolling Stones at The Sky High Spitfire Club in Tooting, England.

Jagger said that the lads are itching to get back on stage and start playing their hits including "Jumping Jack Flash," which Mick estimated they have probably performed over 8,000 times, including about 7 times in Mandarin Chinese.

SIDENOTE: Mick Jagger was asked what he is looking forward to the most on his concert tour, he winked and replied, "Ah dat's an easy one mate - tis da 50-year-old groupies dats what it bloody is.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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