Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 31 October 2012

image for Ashton Kutcher's Girlfriend Mila Kunis Says There Is No Baby Bump
Mila recently had a fortune cookie that had the message, "You will marry a man with the initials A.K."

BEVERLY HILLS - Mila Kunis and her boyfriend Two and A Half Men star Ashton Kutcher were spotted walking hand-in-hand on Rodeo Drive while singing the hit song "Call Me Maybe."

The happy couple engaged in some PDA (public display of affection) just before they entered the Haven of Hair Salon.

Once in the salon owned by the Hair Stylist to The Stars, FuFi Fondue, they were asked by iRumors Zydeco Dupree about Mila's baby bump.

Kutcher, 34, did not say a word and kept on reading his copy of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily, but Kunis, 29, asked Dupree where in the world he had heard about her baby bump.

He replied that he had not heard about it but that just by looking at her midsection it appeared that she could possibly be pregnant.

Ashton kept reading. Mila raised her eyebrows and told him that she hated to burst his exclusive story bubble and deflate his front-page story but she said that there is no baby bump because there is no baby.

"No baby?" Dupree asked disappointingly.

"Nopers. And thanks for insinuating that I'm fat." Kunis remarked, "I really appreciate hearing that I'm with child from a stand up comedian-reporter."

Dupree apologized and said that he just figured that she looked pregnant because she had a certain motherly glow about her.

Mila accepted his apology and told him to be sure and mention in his news show story that it's about time that Demi Moore, 49, (who is still legally married to Kutcher) grows some and gives Ashy the divorce he has been wanting.

The star of The Black Swan confessed that she is anxious for her and Kutch to fly down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, get married, and live happily ever after in Ashton's $13.7 million Malibu Beach mansion.

SIDENOTE: Zydeco Dupree felt so bad about assuming that Mila was pregnant that he insisted on paying her hair styling bill. The bill came out to $117 plus a $23 tip.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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