KEYSTONE, South Dakota - Lindsay Lohan traveled to The Black Hills of South Dakota to visit Mount Rushmore.
She had been told by her therapist Dr. Ottoman Buxton of Tarzana, that she really needed to visit Mount Rushmore and take a good look at the four male presidential figures who she could think of as father figures.
Dr. Buxton had met with Lohan, at her request at The Giggling Guacamole Restaurant in Tarzana. He informed her that the only way she was ever going to get out of her self-destructive rut was to stop acting like a damn friggin diva and a damn effen prima donna and start acting more ladylike, like Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, or Carrie Underwood.
Lohan asked if he could give her some pills. "Hell no!" Doctor Buxton shouted. "Are you freaking kidding me? You Lindsay "Ankle Bracelet" Lohan with pills, no way Jose or should I say no way Lind-SAY."
The doctor then suggested that one way in which she could get out of her journey to hell is to star in a comedy movie to help ease the horrific stress she is experiencing within the confines of her inner and outer brain.
Lohan was thrilled with the idea and mentioned that she would love to star in a comedy movie with her comedic idol Robin Williams.
Dr. Buxton contacted Williams and him told of Lindsay's desire to appear in a film with him. He asked if he would be willing to make a movie with the troubled Hollywood starlet.
Robin giggled, grabbed himself, took a sip of diet water and asked, "Does a polar bear go #2 in the snow?" "Does a Bud Light Brewery smell like beer?" and "Does Paul Ryan look exactly like Eddie Munster?"
Dr. Buxton asked, "So that's a yes?"
Williams answered "Si."
"Si what?" the doctor asked.
"Si, jes." Robin said acting like a matador from Mexicali.
And so it appears that the extremely troubled, freckled faced actress may finally be leaving the rocket-like life in the fast lane and moving over to a nice and easy two lane farm to market road.