Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 21 October 2012

image for Kate Gosselin's Wish Finally Looks Like It's Coming True
Kate relaxing in the swimming pool of her Casa Ocho home in Reading, Pennsylvania.

HOLLYWOOD - Kate Gosselin flew in to L.A. from her home in Reading, Pennsylvania to meet with executives with The Contempo Television Network (CTN).

They wanted to speak to her about the possibility of getting her back on television with her very own reality show.

Kate has been wishing and hoping for an opportunity to get another reality show since her last show was cancelled.

CTN Director of Reality Show Development Pavlov P. Lavenderlemon told Ms. Gosselin that although they enjoyed her former TLC shows Jon & Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8, this time they wanted to put her in a show that would really showcase her as a young, vibrant, sensuous woman.

Gosselin perked up and said that it really sounded interesting to her. She asked if her eight kids would also be featured in the show.

She was told that although the kids will appear in the show they will not be prominently featured as they were before.

Lavenderlemon continued by telling her that the premise of the show would be focusing on Kate's dating life. And in fact the show is titled, Kate's Dates.

Kate asked if nudity would be involved. She was told yes and no. She asked "Yes and no?"

She was assured that if any nudity was incorporated into the show it would only be because it was pertinent to the development of the shows plot and not just for nudity's sake.

Kate got a very serious look on her face and said that she is basically a shy person who, even though at the age of 37, she still knows that she has the body of a 27-year-old.

But she was quick to add that she does have a bit of cellulite here and there, some stretch marks there and here, and a tiny tattoo in a very intimate place with the initials S.T. and then another one in another intimate place with the initials R.B.

She was asked what the initials stood for. She blushed and said that she would not say as it was an extremely personal matter.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The S.T. stands for ex-boyfriend Steven Tyler and the R.B. stands for ex-boyfriend Russell Brand.]

Mr. Lavenderlemon asked her if she was turning down the opportunity to star in her very own reality show due to the fact that she did not want to display her naked body for the cameras.

Kate made a face, rolled her eyes, and said that she would not feel right allowing her body to be viewed by millions of people.

She then asked Mr. Lavenderlemon how much she would be paid. He smiled as he told her that if she accepted the offer she would receive $100,000 per episode.

"$100,000 per episode!!!" Kate's eyes got the size of ping pong balls. "Wow! Yes! Yes! Yes! Tell me please Mr. Lavenderlemon, where the hell do I need to sign?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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