Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 19 October 2012

image for Honey Boo Boo Asks Jay Leno, "Why Does Romney Hate Big Bird?"
Most kids in the USA don't understand why "Old Mittens" Romney hates Big Bird.

HOLLYWOOD - Little Honey Boo Boo has managed to knock Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, and Paul "Skippy" Ryan all off the front page.

The seven-year-old star of TLC's Here Comes Honey Boo Boo recently appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno along with her mom, June "Mama" Shannon, 32, and her twelve-year-old sister, Lauryn "Pumpkin" Shannon.

Leno asked the little McIntyre, Georgia resident how she liked all of the attention and adulation that she has been receiving lately.

Honey Boo Boo stretched her bubble gum out of her mouth and replied, "Well ta tellya da trewwwt, I likes it a big bunch of a lot. It's fun. And I am as happy as Kirstie Alley wiff a two-pound bag of M&M's."

Leno laughed and said, "Now that's pretty gosh darn happy."

He then asked her if she could vote would she vote for President Obama or for Mitt Romney. She rolled her eyes, fiddled with her hair a bit, and said that she would vote for President Brobama because for some reason Mitt Rummy (sic) gives her nightmares.

Leno chimed in asking, "Probably because he looks like Frankenstein huh?"

"Dat's right. You are absoliciously right Mr. Letterman, da old geezer duzz look like Frankenstein."

Leno shook his head and told her that he's Jay Leno and that David Letterman is the one with the weird looking hairdo, the gap in his teeth, and that scary Jack-O-Lantern look.

He then asked her what she thought about Romney getting rid of Big Bird.

The little beauty pageant queen's lower lip pooched out as she asked, "Mr. Leno, can ya tell me why it is dat Frankenstein Rummy hates Big Bird so much?"

Leno perked up. "Well I sure can little lady. Rummy, I mean Romney hates Big Bird because a lot of America's poor children and middle class children love Big Bird and all of the Sesame Street Muppet's.

And basically it boils down to the fact that the Flip Flopper, as Romney is known in the Blue States, just flat out hates to see poor kids and middle class kids smiling, giggling, and being happy."

"Mama" Shannon chimed in "Now, now Mr. Jay, ya know dat juss taint so. Mitt 'The Twit' loves children juss like he loves auto workers, old folks, middle class folks, and poor folks...ahhh. ya know wut, on second thought, da bottom line is dat da old hair spray addict duzz hate poor kids and middle class kids."

Leno grinned. He looked right at the camera. And replied, "Ladies and gentlemen of America, I rest my case."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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