Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 19 October 2012

image for Britney Spears Finally Reveals Why She Dumped Justin Timberlake
Britney shown performing her hit song "Oops!...I Did It Again" at The Plastered Platypus Lounge in New York City.

REDONDO BEACH - Britney Spears was having the Fee Fi Fo Fum Foo Foo Platter at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Diner when she noticed iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli sitting a few tables away.

The X-Factor judge, who knows that Miss Vermicelli is one of X-Factor's biggest fans motioned for the reporter to join her.

Miss V could not believe her eyes and she instantly picked up her plate of Sweet and Sour Jellyfish and made a bee line towards Britney's table.

Britney asked her how she was doing and she replied that she was doing fine, but really doing damn better now that she was sitting with one of her most favorite Tinsel Town people.

Spears told her that she was going to give her a scoop. Vodka's eyes got as big as two large white marshmallows.

The Oops Girl told her that she wanted to reveal for the first time that the reason why she broke up with Justin Timberlake back in 1998, was not due to the fact that she (V.V.) had actually dated Justin two months before she did as everyone believed back then.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Vodka Vermicelli had a four week affair with Timberlake in 1998, just before he started dating Britney Spears.]

Spears said at the time that she told Oprah Winfrey, Barbara Walters, and Mrs. Jay Leno that she simply got sick and tired of Justin constantly saying that Vodka was beautiful, intelligent, and was the best horizontal bopper that he had ever been with.

Miss Vermicelli blushed and started getting quite nervous. Britney calmed her down by ordering her two Kamikaze Shooters. She then revealed the real reason why she dumped Justin.

She said that she got fed up with being embarrassed by Justin's backwoods eating habits. She explicitly pointed out that they were at a Los Angeles Lakers game and Justin was eating popcorn with his mouth wide open.

The Jumbotron camera caught him and everyone in the Staples Center started laughing. The next day the number one Lakers fan Jack Nicholson began referring to Timberlake as Popcorn Puss.

Britney confessed that after that embarrassing incident that she refused to go to a Lakers game with him and ended up breaking up because she did not appreciate being called Popcorn Puss's Kissing Partner.

SIDENOTE: Vodka Vermicelli hugged Britney and thanked her for finally, after 14 years, revealing the true story so that she would stop feeling guilty. Spears paid for the meal and wrote her out a check for $2,500. She also invited her to be her special guest at the next taping of X-Factor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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