Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 18 October 2012

image for George Lopez Says Kirstie Alley Needs To Go On The Tortilla Diet
Lopez suggests that Kirstie go on "The Tortilla Diet." (Photo taken by Rico Chorizo).

LA HABRA - Comedian George Lopez was in La Habra checking on a low-rider that he saw in The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle.

As he was sitting in The Giggling Guacamole Restaurant he was approached by Pico de Gallo a reporter with Tittle Tattle Tonight.

Lopez has known de Gallo since his early stand up comedy days at The Laughing Beaver Comedy Club in West Hollywood.

Lopez who is a big fan of Dancing With The Stars was asked what he thought about Bristol "The Pistol" Palin finally getting eliminated.

The comedian gave de Gallo a high five and said that the chubby, little, Baby Moose should have gotten her graceless caboose kicked off the show the first week.

He went on to say that she had about as much business being on the dance floor as Kirstie Alley has making a commercial for Victoria's Secret string bikini thongs.

And speaking of Kirstie "The California Quake" Alley, de Gallo wondered what Lopez thought about her.

George giggled a bit as he took a drink of his double shot of Jose Cuervo Tequila. He then remarked that the 61-year-old grandmother also has no business being on Dancing With The Stars.

He explained that the 409 pounder needs to be sitting in the backyard of her Hollywood Hills mansion sewing her own clothes so she doesn't have to spend thousand of dollars shopping at The Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Tent Store in Hacienda Heights.

Lopez then said that the best thing Kirstie can do is to go on the Tortilla Diet. De Gallo asked if that was the diet were the dieter eats one corn tortilla for breakfast, one for lunch, and half of one for dinner.

George laughed and replied "No vato (guy) that's the diet where you get a corn tortilla and toss it like a Frisbee. You then run to get it, pick it up, and throw it again, and you run to it again.

He said that you keep this up for one hour a day and in one month you should lose at least eight pounds.

In A Related Story. Pico de Gallo's book, The Airbrushed Secrets of LaLaLand's Sexy, Sultry Starlets has just been named the number one book in Sweden

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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