Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 16 October 2012

image for Kristen Stewart Buys Rob Pattinson A Bentley
K-Stew has just purchased a 2013 Bentley Continental GTC V8 Convertible for ex-boyfriend Rob Pattinson.

BEVERLY HILLS - Close friends of Twilight star Kristen Stewart have expressed concern and are very worried about her mental, physical, emotional, financial, and geographical state.

Lacey "Frilly" Scoffingshaw, who has known K-Stew since their days back at Zsa Zsa Gabor High School in Avocado Heights recently spoke with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk.

She told Miss Chipotle that she fears that Kris, who hardly ever smiles, is going to become a recluse and never leave her home.

Lacey said that as of now, she and her sister Shirley "Silky" Scoffingshaw, go to a local Tall Timbers Supermarket and buy the food items she requests such as Hot Pockets, Pop Tarts, Frozen Tacos, and Diet Pelican Tenders.

Lacey did state that Kris has tried to do everything possible to get back with her long time boyfriend Rob Pattinson but he just keeps ignoring her.

In desperation she has just purchased a 2013 Bentley Continental GTC V8 Convertible in his favorite color silver bullet and she plans on giving it to him this weekend.

SIDENOTE: Kristen has reportedly told the Scoffingshaw sisters that if the $195,000 Bentley does not do the trick, next she is going to also offer him $200,000 cash to take her back.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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