Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 October 2012

image for Gilbert Gottfried Spotted Driving An Ice Cream Truck In Nogales, Arizona
This is the ice cream truck that Gottfried is driving. (Photo by Rico Chorizo)

NOGALES, Arizona - There is no better example of a person putting his foot in his mouth that Gilbert Gottfried.

After making his sickingly sick non-joke about the Japanese tsunami the man with what has to be the most irritatingly grating voice in the entire nation has virtually disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Word out of LaLaLand is that even some of the so-called comedians old friends, such as Pee Wee Herman, Chelsea Handler, Star Jones, and Andy Dick, are not returning his text messages, emails, phone calls, or tweets.

An highly reliable source, who did not want her name mentioned, stated that she heard from a Beverly Hills pedicurist that Gottfried was recently spotted in Nogales, Arizona, where he was dressed all in white and driving an ice cream truck.

Gottfried's non-comical remarks landed him in the proverbial dog house and he lost one of the best jobs a person could have; being the voice of the Aflac duck, which paid him a gold mine to merely utter the word "Aflac."

Joan "The Moan" Rivers recently described Gottfried as having the brains of a dust bunny. She said that by all accounts Gilbert's family tree must surely be a tumbleweed.

The Queen of Mean added that Gottfried has all the personality and charm of used dental floss.

SIDENOTE: Castle Moat Pictures has scrapped plans to make a motion picture based on Gilbert Gottfried's life since a total of 59 actors turned down the lead role. Johnny Depp reportedly even went as far as to say that he would not accept the part for $100 million.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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