Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 15 October 2012

image for Elvis Presley to sell his house!
He's not dead, he's just been ghosting around and now he's flogging his haunted house!

Elvis Presley has decided to sell his house in Beverley Hills because he is sick of all of his fans turning up on his date of birth and death and smothering the gates with dead flowers (appropriate!).

Elvis who still roams around the house and in the garden told his favourite medium, Madame Butterfly, to sell the damn thing because he's sick to "death" of his fans trampling over his monuments.

Elvis meanwhile, is also planning a comeback tour and Michael Jackson has promised to join him on stage with George Harrison, John Lennon, Bob Marley, etc; it promises to be a raving dead-end hit tour.

He looks slightly thinner and boney now after 35 years on the "other side" and hopes his flair, gold-white trousers won't be too big. The highlight of the show is Elvis and Michael performing a live reggae version of Thriller as real live Zombies with Bob, John and George doing the backing vocals disguised as skeletons.

Elvis's other house, Graceland, will remain in his estate because he is frightened that if he sells it his mother, Grace, would give him a damn good spanking Memphis style; over her dead body in other words.

Elvis also asked Colonel Parker for some advice about selling the Beverly hills property and the very greedy Colonel told him, "son you can only sell the house if I get my usual fee of 49% of the selling price." Elvis agreed (He had no choice!)

Even amongst the living dead it seems that some greedy bastards can never get enough!

More as we "Spook" it!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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