Written by Backandtotheleft
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Sunday, 14 October 2012

Our Lord and Supreme Overseer Simon Cowell is to launch a new talent show, like the X-Factor, but for dogs! The show will feature desperate bitches begging for Simon's attention whilst wearing nothing that resembles human clothing. Again much like the X-Factor. Simon said, via a video link that beamed his face directly into our minds:

"My new show will focus on the complex relationship between man, dog and money. Of which I'll be making a lot of. I believe the longer the show runs the more likely it will be that we see a complete breakdown in social norms. In the way animals are perceived not just in the public eye but also sexually."

But what the hell did Simon mean by that?

"There will be enough mentally disturbed cat ladies out there who will probably make love to their animals, without too much provocation on our behalf. And I want the world to watch and then I want them to vote how far the "animal-man" relationship will go."

Back and to the Left news wondered what is next for Simon, who seems to be getting more and more powerful by the hour. A cooking show with Giraffes? Millipede boxing? Or even full on battle re-enactments with the orphans of the AIDS epidemic in Africa? What was next?

"Anything. I can put anything on the peoples flickering box and because I have done it they will watch it and they will love it. For when I have spoken it is law!"

Thank you Simon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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