Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 12 October 2012

image for Willie Nelson Says Why He's Not Voting For Romney
A 1969 photo taken of Willie Nelson's favorite guitar "Trigger." (Photo from the Raquel Welch Collection).

AUSTIN - Willie Nelson has been strumming his guitar now for over 50 years and at 79, he is considered to be the Granddaddy of Country Music.

Nelson, who has had more ups and downs than Pamela Anderson's underwear, says that the rough times that he went through were nothing compared to what lots of his friends are going through today.

He pointed out that a good friend of his Roger Roy "Bubba" Saltinbock, 53, left his hometown of Kickapoo, Texas, to go work in an auto factory in Detroit.

And Bubba was doing real good but thanks to Mitt "The Flip Flopper" Romney he lost his job when Romney decided to close down the family owned plant that specialized in making automobile tire valve stem caps.

Another friend of his Loretta Lynette "Dimples" Dippaport, 33, had to quit her job as a waitress at The Enchanted Enchilada in Austin, in order to care for her 13 kids, who range in age from 3 months to 14-years.

Nelson was interviewed by Sinclair Petaluma with Political Salad Bar Magazine and asked if he was going to be voting for President Obama or Mitt Romney.

Willie put down his longneck bottle of Lone Star Beer and said that there is no way in the world that he would ever vote for a man whose first name is Mitt.

Nelson laughed and said "Hell the name Mitt would be a great name if you're a baseball player but for a politician? No way José."

He took a puff of his Camel Cigarette and then commented that the name Mitt is one of the worst names a politician could possibly have other than the name Chris like that roly-poly, humpty dumpty looking dandy in New Jersey, Governor Chris Christie.

The man known as The Bearded Bronc Buster, said that all kidding aside he just cannot vote for an individual who said that 47 percent of all Americans are moochers who depend on someone else for handouts.

The country music legend who wrote the great hit "Crazy" for the fabulous Patsy Cline said that he would in fact have to be plum crazy to vote for someone who has degraded, insulted, and attacked pretty much most of his friends.

Willie says that he still wants to know why a man who is asking to be the next president of the United States still refuses to release his income tax statements from 2007 through 2010.

The music icon said "It boggles the mind. What is Mitt "The Twit" hiding? It's crazy."

He then added "I guess it's just like we say down in Texas, 'You can put perfume and an Easter bonnet on a damn rattlesnake, but the sumbitch is still a damn rattlesnake!'"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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