Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 November 2012

image for Kristen Stewart Fired!
A scene from the Durango Grundyweather film "Bonfire - The Joan of Arc Story."

OAXACA, Mexico - The Twilight Saga actress who says she has never been as depressed as she is now has just become even more depressed.

K-Stew was only in her second day of shooting her latest motion picture Bonfire - The Joan of Arc Story, when she was told by the film's director Durango Grundyweather that she was being fired.

A totally shocked Stewart asked the famed director why. He put down the movie clapper and told her that two of the movie's other actors had met with him and informed him that she was being extremely difficult and was spreading rumors about him and the film's make up artist the astoundingly sensuous Fayleen "Lip Gloss" Kindyhawk.

The Lion's Face movie is being filmed on location in Oaxaca, Mexico due to the fact that 98.3 percent of the town greatly resembles 15th century Domremy, France.

Two of the cast members who turned Stewart in are up and coming actresses Lollipop Wildstick and Kumquatina Blitzowitz. Both actresses stated that Miss Stewart walked up to them and told them that she did not want them showing their cleavage as it would take the focus off of her.

Miss Wildstick apparently said that she would show as much effen cleavage as she friggin wanted and that no one, not even Barbara Walters, Oprah Winfrey, or even Ann Romney would tell her different.

Miss Blitzowitz told K-Stew that she was just jealous because she (KS) is barely a B-Cup whereas Wildstick and herself (KB) are both 40-D-Cups.

SIDENOTE: Durango Grundyweather said that he could have let Kristen's tata remarks slide but he is extremely angry that Miss Stewart would start such mean, vicious, untrue rumors about himself and the fantastically sultry and fabulously sexy Fayleen Kindyhawk.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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