Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 10 October 2012

image for Dancing With The Stars Sends Drew Lachey and Helio Castroneves Home
Drew Lachey's brother Nick after hearing that Drew had been axed from Dancing With The Stars. (Photo by Karina Smirnoff).

HOLLYWOOD - The top brass at Dancing With The Stars are starting to get a bit concerned.

It seems that just like the last time that Bristol Palin was a contestant she has consistently received the lowest scores from the judges but she is still managing to stay out of the Bottom 2 or Bottom 3.

Bristol "The Pistol," as her mama Sarah Palin nicknamed her because of her uncanny shooting ability is coasting along thanks to the tremendous amount of votes she is receiving from her mom's Tea Bag Party.

Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors is reporting that a highly placed, inside, unnamed source in the TBP has confessed to her that Sarah "The Loose Moose" Palin has told each and every TBP member that she wants them to vote for her little Bristy and her partner Mark "Tattoo Boy" Ballas at least 75 times.

Rangoon was told that one female member of the Tea Bag Party, identified as Matilda P. Quimquist, 48, of Sausalito, California, said that she was not going to vote for Bristol because she was casting her vote for Cheetah Girl, Sabrina Bryan.

Ms. Quimquist immediately received a text message from Sarah Palin herself informing her that her membership in the Tea Bag Party had been cancelled and she was also being fined $800 for violating party policy.

After the show Miss Rangoon interviewed both Lachey and Castroneves. Drew at first was so upset he could not move his mouth to form words.

But after getting a big kiss on the mouth by his sexy partner Ana Trebunskya, he was able to say that losing to La Tortuga (the Turtle), as Ballas calls her, made him feel like a bank that has just been robbed by a cheap bank robber.

Castroneves stated that it is just not fair because Bristol's dancing compared to his dancing was as if Bristol was racing in a 1977 Volkswagen Beetle and he was racing in a brand new Indy 500 turbocharged Penske race car.

SIDENOTE: Sarah "Snow Plow" Palin reportedly told British judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman after the show that she feels that this time instead of finishing in third place that Bristy is going to be crowned the champion and take the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy back to the Iceberg State (Alaska).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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