Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 9 October 2012

image for Dancing With The Stars: Bristol Palin The Ditsy Diva Disses Dance Partner Mark Ballas
Maksim Chmerkovskiy gave a pet snake which he named Madam Tata's to Pamela Anderson. (Photo by Kirstie Alley).

HOLLYWOOD - For the second week in a row the Dancing With The Stars judges have given Bristol "The Pistol" Palin the lowest score out of all the celebrity dancers.

Palin and her partner Mark "Tattoo Boy" Ballas danced a paso doble to the song "You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd" and received a score of 22.5, which put them in last place out of the 11 teams.

During the rehearsals Bristy, as her mama Sarah "Snowballs" Palin refers to her, threw one of her patented Bristol the spoiled brat fits.

She started crying and telling Mark that the judges are not giving them better scores because he is not concentrating on their dance numbers.

She got in Mark's face and told him that maybe if he spent a little more time trying to teach her the dance routines instead of going off and getting yet another tattoo she can get out of the last place rut she seems to be in.

Mark fired back that maybe if she had a little more dancing grace and didn't dance like she had a porcupine stuck in her underwear she could move around a little better instead of dancing like a damn statue of George W. Bush.

Bristol then said that her mama was right and she now wishes that she had gotten Tony "Smiley" Dovolani or Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough as her professional dancer.

Ballas angrily did the splits and replied that he wishes that he had gotten Kelly Monaco or Melissa Rycroft or even the heavy-as-the-dickens Kirstie Alley.

Palin then said that she would rather dance with Bruno Tonioli even though he is gay than to dance with a sawed off runt like him.

Just then the food caterer arrived and Bristol quickly picked up a cheeseburger, a hot dog, a pizza, and an order of enchiladas.

Mark shook his head and told her that she is the only contestant in the 14 season history of Dancing With The Stars who has actually gained weight at the end of the competition.

SIDENOTE: TV ClickerWorld is reporting that Sarah "The Loose Moose" Palin has hinted that if she feels that Mark is not trying as hard as he should be and Bristy gets eliminated she will consider hiring an attorney and suing Ballas for Nolo Ipso Enthusiastico.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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