Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 7 October 2012

image for Eva Longoria Dispels Her Baby Bump - Blames It On Coney Island Hot Dogs
Eva Longoria blames the baby bump look on a little bit too much food. (Photo by Mark Sanchez).

NEW YORK CITY - Eva Longoria, former star of the ABC show Desperate Housewives was recently seen in Manhattan hunting for shoes, a blouse, and an apartment.

The 37-year-old actress, who has a home in Los Angeles and one in San Antonio stated that she wants to be near her boyfriend, New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez.

Eva told Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that her May-December relationship with Mark, who is only 25, is going pretty good.

She then giggled and added that it is actually going better than the Jets season, who are presently 2-2.

Longoria recently returned from a trip to New Zealand, Australia, and Kenya. She said that she purchased an adult female kangaroo in Australia and it is being shipped via FedEx to her mansion Casa Muchacaha in the Hollywood Hills.

She pointed out that she tried to buy a baby rhino in Kenya but she was told that they had tripled in price due to the recent Rhino Stampede of August when hundreds of rhinos stampeded from Kenya into neighboring Ethiopia.

Miss Vermicelli told Eva that she hated to ask her but since it is her job to ask questions she asked if the rumor about her being pregnant was true.

Longoria rolled her eyes, raised her eyebrows, and patted her stomach. She then said that the extra pounds that she has gained in her belly are not the result of being a baby bump but are the result of her ingesting a bit too many of those delicious Coney Island Hot Dogs.

The former wife of San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker stated that she has become addicted to the hot dogs and finds herself eating at least seven a day.

SIDENOTE: Eva's hair stylist FuFi Fondue told iRumors that Miss Longoria is considering checking into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic to get rid of her craving for Coney Island Hot Dogs as well as her horrendous fear of Mitt Romney getting elected.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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