Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 6 October 2012

image for Christina Aguilera Defends Her New Album's Nude Cover
The microphone that Christina used to record her latest CD "Lotus." (Photo courtesy of Newt Gingrich).

SAN FRANCISCO - Christina Aguilera, one of the stars on The Voice, flew to San Francisco to perform a one night concert at The Veni, Vedi, Vici Coliseum.

After her performance she spoke backstage with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo. She was asked about her upcoming album titled Lotus which will be released on November 13 at 5 a.m. (EST).

Christina, who is 31, remarked that she could not believe how much controversy her album cover is stirring up especially in the states of Arizona, Wisconsin, and Connecticut.

She said that she personally chose the cover which shows here coming out of a lotus with her front torso fully exposed.

The "Genie In A Bottle" singer has defended her naked cover by saying that in the photo she is not hurting anyone, or badmouthing anyone, or criticizing anyone.

Aguilera, who got her start singing on the Mickey Mouse Club along with Justin Timberlake, informed Miss San Guacamole that her manager actually wanted her to appear completely nude in a vat of lemon Jello, but she reminded him that lemons cause her to break out in hives as well as gain vast amounts of weight in her caboose area.

A group based in Yuma, Arizona, calling itself Citizens For Non-Nude CD Covers protested her new album cover with signs that read: First it's nude Christina Aguilera CD covers and then next it will be nude Christina Aguilera swimsuits.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up Abel, and neither one of us has any idea just what the hell a nude Christina Aguilera swimsuit could possibly be.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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