Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 3 October 2012

image for Khloe Kardashian and Mario Lopez Named Co-Hosts of X-Factor
A photo of Khloe Kardashian which appeared in a six-page layout in the April issue of PlayFella Magazine.

LOS ANGELES - After months of considering literally hundreds of individuals for the coveted co-host positions on X-Factor, Simon Cowell has finally made his decision.

He has announced to the Tinsel Town media corps that Khloe Kardashian, 28, and Mario Lopez, 38, will be replacing Steve Jones who was fired along with judges Paula "Touchdown" Abdul and Nicole "Teardrops" Scherzinger back in late January of this year.

Cowell, who is known as the Baron of Bitterness said that he had no choice but to to fire Jones along with Abdul and Scherzinger.

He explained that Steve was just to robotic and very difficult for the American viewers to understand due to his very strong Welsh accent.

Simon explained that Jones would mispronounce words such as Massachusetts, prophylactic, hysterectomy and Jose Cuervo Tequila.

He then remarked that Abdul was fired for just being to ditsy and Scherzinger was let go because she simply cried way too damn much.

He said that the Terminated Trio actually considered hiring an attorney and suing him. But after he hired famed California lawyer Gloria Allred, they quickly changed their mind.

The English businessman with the Midas golden touch said that he interviewed Khloe and right away he liked the fact that she is not the least bit shy.

He recalled that last year when her younger brother Rob was a contestant on Dancing With The Stars that you could hear Khloe in the audience hollering and yelling at the three judges whenever they said something negative about her brother.

Khloe is married to NBA player Lamar Odom and the two star in a reality show called Khloe & Lamar. She also appeared in Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, and Khloe Talks Politics.

Simon noted that Mario Lopez hosts the serial tabloid Extra plus he also appears on a reality cooking show called Marinating With Mario.

He married Ali Landry on April 24, 2004, and two weeks later he had the marriage annulled. He has never revealed why he had the marriage annulled but there was speculation that it had something to do with the fact that Ali didn't know how to cook Mexican food.

Mario has dated Karina Smirnoff of Dancing With The Stars, Eva Longoria, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kate Gosselin, and Trudi Pickleprattle.

In News From Europe. The German government is reporting that the French illegal alien situation is starting to get out of hand.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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