Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 2 October 2012

image for Dancing With The Stars: The Judges Put Bristol Palin In Last Place
Sarah Palin says that she thinks that the next celebrity to go home will be soap opera star Kelly Monaco.

HOLLYWOOD - Bristol "The Pistol" Palin called herself a redneck woman and the ol' gal could very well find herself moseying on back up to Wasilla, Alaska.

According to Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole, Bristol and her partner Mark "Tattoo Boy" Ballas danced or rather moved through the motions as they semi-performed to Gretchen Wilson's hit song "Redneck Woman."

Judge Len "The Grouch" Goodman said that the only thing missing was a horse, a lasso, some chaps, and the smell of cow patties.

Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli added that the redneck woman appeared to be more like the redneck circus clown.

And Carrie Ann "The Filipino Flash" Inaba simply said that hopefully Bristy can cook because her dancing skills are about as pretty as a gorilla placenta.

Sarah "Snowflake" Palin and her husband Todd "The Salmon Stalker" Palin watched from the front row as their unmarried daughter shimmied and swayed like she had just sat on an adult saguaro cactus.

Miss San Guacamole texted President Obama and asked him who he feels will be going home on week 2.

The president responded by saying that he and Michelle both think it will probably be the Palin girl.

When she texted Mitt Romney and asked him he replied by saying that he thinks it will be Kirstie Alley. He then flip flopped and changed his mind and said that he thinks it will be Joey Fatone.

He then texted her again and flip flopped again saying that he believes it will probably be Tom Bergeron (sic).

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Kirstie Alley, who is 61, wants it known that the rumor about her being pregnant is false. She then explained that she just happens to look pregnant because of the fact that she is 100 pounds overweight.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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