Written by Heeke
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Saturday, 29 September 2012

image for Why California shouldn't force porn stars to wear condoms

Los Angeles --Today the California State Senate brought to the floor a bill that would require the Adult film industry actors to wear condoms. The reason for the bill, according to a state Senator who requested to remain anonymous, is to ensure that the spreading of diseases could be minimized and future outbreaks contained.

A spokesman for the adult film industry stated that this is going to be bad for the industry because, as he stated,"No one wants to see a hot actress getting a facial and the guy's only blowing his nuts into a condom! This bill lacks vision and destroys the whole reason behind giving a girl a pearl necklace or a protein shake"

Bill supporters are steadfast in their support of the bill and will not back down from the blistering wave of criticism from the industry. Jenna Jameson held a press conference to voice her opposition of the bill and was heard to say, "This bill, like, totally ruins my performance onscreen if our audiences cannot see me getting blasted with hot man butter! I mean, honestly, this body is made for one thing and one thing only!! To get shower after shower of hot sticky goo."

Another industry opposer, Ron Jeremy, was seen leaving the state senate in a furious outrage. One reporter overheard Mr. Jeremy as saying, "Those bunch of withered pricks and dusty cunts wouldn't know a good sex movie from their own asses. How in the Hell can you have a cumshot scene with the guy blowing his material in a condom? Where's the art in that?"

Opposers to the bill have been furiously taking signatures and lobbying the Senate to strike down the bill or at least make the law apply only to those actors who cannot sexually satisfy Nancy Pelosi or Barbara Boxer.

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