Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 28 September 2012

image for Katie Holmes Looking For A Boy-Toy
A magic voodoo stick that Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette uses in her voodoo rituals. (Photo courtesy of Zydeco Dupree).

NEW YORK CITY - Newly divorced Katie Holmes recently sat down at Le Loins of Joan of Arc French Restaurant in Manhattan and talked with Tahiti Zeppelin of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres.

The 33-year-old ex-wife of Tom Cruise made it very clear that she will never again get involved with a man old enough to be her father; Tom is 50.

She stated that her next relationship will be with a younger boy-toy so that she can be in charge of the entire situation.

Holmes stressed the fact that at times she felt as if she had to ask Tom for permission to drive her own car, go shopping for high heeled shoes, and ask if she could have an Apricot Margarita.

She said that being married to him made her feel like a caged animal in the Bronx Zoo and at other times she felt like a caged animal in the San Diego Zoo.

Katie revealed to Miss Zeppelin something that she had not admitted to anyone before.

She told her that the reason she found the strength to finally file for divorce was after she had taken a trip down to Lake Charles, Louisiana, and had a nice meeting with the top voodoo woman in America Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette.

Holmes expressed that the Cajun-Creole Madam made her feel as if she was the smartest, cleverest, and most financially articulate person in the entire world.

She emphasized that within two minutes of talking to the Bayou Queen that she knew that Madam Lottie Jo was smarter than Mitt "Hairdo Dude" Romney, Paul "Skippy" Ryan, Ann "Trigger" Coulter, and Jay "Mr. Potato Head" Leno combined.

SIDENOTE: Katie revealed that Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette charged her $90 for the voodoo reading and Tom Cruise Voodoo Doll but she noted that she gave the wonderful voodoo woman a $200 tip.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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