Written by IainB
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Thursday, 27 September 2012

image for Disney appointed to organise the End of the World Party
The Bermuda Shorts practice for the end of the world

Disney have been appointed by the UN to organise the End of the World Party on December twenty-first, when many crackpots and religious nutjobs believe that the world will end, because the Mayan calendar runs out.

"If the world is going to end," said Kofi Anan, "then we need a big party. And if the world doesn't end, then we've still had a party."

Disney are no strangers to organising huge parties, having run several quite large parties already. With the UN wanting every country in the world to have the party on the same day, starting at the international dateline and finishing at the international date line, this will tax even Disney's fantastic organising skills.

"We've arranged a budget of one trillion dollars," said Anan. "I found it in a Swiss bank account belonging to some dead dictator. So it won't cost the public a penny."

Disney have been tasked with getting a party bag and a piece of cake to every person on Earth, except Rupert Murdoch, whom Anan doesn't like. There is to be music and merrymaking the world over, with every band in the world employed to ensure everyone has a good time.

Many more rational people have pointed out that the world is not going to end this year, any more than it would end on the thirty-first of December in the Western calendar.

"It's simply when the Mayan's calculated their calendar to," said Richard Dawkins, a renowned atheist. "I wouldn't mind. They got it wrong. It was supposed to be a planetary alignment, but due to a miscalculation, there is no planetary alignment on that date. That happened back in March, and we're still here."

Opposition to the World's End Party have suggested that one trillion dollars would go a long way to propping up the world economy, or solving hunger, lack of access to water, or even helping with the energy crisis by burning it one note at a time. It could even be used to make all seventy billion people on the planet millionaires overnight.

"We couldn't decide how to use this money," said Anan. "So we thought, what the hell, let's have a party instead."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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