Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 26 September 2012

image for Dancing With The Stars First Victim - The Sultry Blonde
Pamela did not want to make any excuses for her poor showing but she did put 90 percent of the blame on her red shoes.

HOLLYWOOD - The Pineapple 7000 Computer hit it right on the head when it predicted that out of the 13 Dancing With The Stars All-Stars the first one to be eliminated would be Pamela Anderson.

The 45-year-old Anderson and her partner Tristan MacManus danced to the Richie Valens song "La Bamba." And even though Pam's bambas were in the right place and moved exactly like they were supposed to move, the trio of dysfunctional judges awarded her the lowest score of the previous night (17).

Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors interviewed Pamela before the results show and she noted that the sultry blonde was visibly shaken as evidenced by the fact that she was wearing her bra backwards.

MacManus, her partner, tried to cheer her up by giving her a Marlboro Light Cigarette and saying that Bristol "The Pistol" Palin had actually danced a lot worse than her but Pammy, as the English judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman calls her, knew that she would soon be history.

Anderson, Palin, and Drew Lachey all found themselves in the Bottom 3. It was obvious that this time around Bristy did not have the tremendous votes from the Tea Bag Party that her mother had helped her get during season 11, when she finished in 3rd place.

In fact, Rangoon noted that since Sarah "Snowballs" Palin's fifteen minutes have ended, it is not likely that the Pistol is going to make it very far and actually could be the next celeb to go.

Even her own partner Mark "Tattoo Boy" Ballas has stated off-camera that Sarah's eldest daughter has not really improved much. He noted that she has just now learned the difference between the cha cha cha and the samba.

After Anderson was told that she was eliminated the shows host Tom "Happy Face" Bergeron asked her what her plans were. Pam did not miss a beat and said that she was going to find the nearest bar and get herself a pitcher of Papaya Margaritas.

SIDENOTE: Justin Bieber performed his hit song "As Long As You Love Me" and according to Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli the Beebs touched his crotch region a total of 19 times.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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