BEVERLY HILLS - Hollywood celebutante Paris Hilton was sitting in the Haven of Hair Saloon getting the back of her neck shaved by her hair stylist FuFi Fondue when she read an article in Left Coast Mirror Magazine.
The article written by Tequila Tallyho, stated that Paris had told her nutritionist that she cannot understand why gay guys have to act so gosh darn gay.
Hilton said that most of the gay males who she knows she could easily beat in a game of arm wrestling, boxing, or even Red Rover.
One of her friends identified as Loxley "Peekaboo" Appenzeller, 28, became so upset at her statement that he started crying and saying that Paris is nothing but a spoiled rich bully.
Paris has even offended GOC, which stands for the Gays of California and they are planning on boycotting all of her movies. When told that Hilton does not have any movies they then said that they will be boycotting her records.
GOC was advised that Hilton does not have any records either. A spokesperson, Hanky "Puffy" Puffachimski, 42, then asked, "Well then just what the hell does Paris Hilton do?"
[EDITOR'S NOTE: BINGO! Paris Hilton does absolutely nothing but spend her mommy and daddy's money.]