Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 22 September 2012

image for The SS Travolta Has Hit The Rocks
John Travolta shown at the controls of his favorite plane D8 (Date). (Photo by Richard Simmons).

PARIS - John Travolta and wife Kelly traveled to Paris, The City of Lights to get away from the bright spotlights of Tinsel Town.

But they soon learned that the Parisian lights are probably much more brighter than those of Hollywood.

It seems that everywhere the Travolta's went they were followed by a throng of over 25 reporters, photographers, and perfume salesman.

The 58-year-old star of Saturday Night Fever and Urban Cowboy has been immersed in countless sex scandals all of which he says are purely fabricated by tabloid fabricators who have fabricated most of his alleged same-gender liaisons.

According to Bedroom Pillow Talk the latest accuser to come forward and accuse Travolta of same-sex mattress merriment is unemployed pedicurist Bruce "Sissy" Crackerwood, 42, of El Segundo, California.

Sissy, as he is known throughout Southern California reportedly stated to the supermarket tabloid Just Saying that he and Johnny Boy participated in countless games of Strip Spin The Beer Bottle.

When Travolta was told about the pedicurist's allegations he remarked that he has never heard of Bruce "Sissy" Crackerwood and added that he gets his pedicures from FuFi Fondue, owner of The Haven of Hair Salon in Beverly Hills.

John's wife, Kelly, 49, was asked to comment on the matter but stated that she is not going to discuss any of the 173 individuals who have come forward with stories of being intimate with her hubby of 21 years.

She later admitted to Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that she is beginning to feel as if their marriage has hit the rocks and the SS Travolta is starting to take on water.

In Political News. GOP political maven Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter, 50, has stated that the rumor that she is so disgruntled with Mitt "Hairdo Dude" Romney that she is moving to Iran are totally false. She quickly added that she is disgruntled with Romney but she is not moving to Iran.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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