Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 22 September 2012

image for Lady Gaga Looking GiGagagantic!
Lady Gaga has cancelled the order on her dress that was to be made up entirely of apples and pears.

MILWAUKEE - Lady Gaga performed at the Beer Suds Stadium in Milwaukee to a less than sell out crowd.

When she was asked backstage by Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors if she was concerned about the less than full house, Lady G grinned and nodded that she was.

The "Born This Way" songstress was asked what she attributes her declining concert ticket sales to.

She replied that the reason is quite obvious. She then emphasized that it is all due to her tremendous weight gain of late.

The 5-foot-1-inch singer stated that just in the past 27 days she has gained 24½ pounds.

When asked by Miss Vermicelli what she attributed this huge gain to she made no bones about it and replied, "I owe every pound that I've gained to pizza, pasta, pancakes, pretzels, and pork chops."

The 26-year-old noted "And that's just the damn P's."

An unnamed, inside source who did not want her name revealed stated that Lady Gaga confided in her that both her and Christina Aguilera have piled on the pounds and are extremely afraid that the slim and trim Britney Spears is going to be moving in and taking all of their fans.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The unnamed, inside source is Apricotina Wagonmire, 27, who is in charge of making sure that Lady Gaga's outfits and costumes all look totally authentic.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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